Disability Pride Month

Hello my lovelies,

I recently learned that July is Disability Pride Month! Disability Pride Month is for showing awareness of disabilities, honoring our struggles, and spreading love when people struggle and look different from you that they are equal and human.

I am Zayne. I'm 20. I have the following: Moebius Syndrome, Pierre Robin Sequence, and Duane's Syndrome. Half of my face is paralyzed which makes me have a crooked smile and hard time speaking, my eye sometime turns in which I wear glasses to help with (plus I have bad eyesight let's go glasses team!), bad hearing, cleft palate,  have scars on my throat from medical times when I was a baby. I had a hole in the roof of my mouth when I was younger that I got fixed. I have had over 24 surgeries in my life.

I have witnessed and felt judged by my disabilities in my life but I try to remember that I am better than that. I remind myself that not everyone will be so nice and helpful to disabilities. I still have flashbacks to when a boy called me Down Syndrome because of how I look and spoke. Kids constantly stare at me every place I go but I make the best of it by smiling at them and make funny faces hoping to get a smile back. I try the best to find the positive in every moment.

Yet, I am so grateful. I know things could be so much worse. I have a half smile and I can blink my eyes and I can walk and I can breathe on my own... I can go on. I feel like us as human beings forget to take a moment to be grateful for our own abilities sometimes.

Also, disabilities aren't just physical difficulties but mental as well and internally. That makes them even more beautiful and unique and warriors. They are making it through it day by day, even when they have help with them.

To anyone who helps people with disabilities: thank you. You are a superhero and your work is literally life impacting. You deserve to be recognized for your work and I am so glad for those who have you in their life. 

The fact that there are people out there who hold themselves on a higher scale of importance than those who struggle physically and mentally bother me to pieces. Life is not fair but you should not go out of your way to make others feel terrible for things that they are incapable of.

Nobody asks for their inner struggles. Nobody asks to have a family member deal with disabilities. Nobody asks for their physical disabilities.

If anything, you should open your mind and hearts to those who struggle. We all are human and it would be better to hold each other up instead of focusing on our differences.

Open the door for strangers and those in wheelchairs. Check if they need help!

Be patient with those who struggle with speech impediments and ask nicely if you want them to repeat themselves. Speaking from my own experience, it is much better asking than acting like you understood.

Speak loud enough for people with hearing struggles and don't be angry or frustrated if you have to repeat yourself. I promise it will help!

Do not discredit those who struggle mentally. They are trying their best.

I wish I could name every single disability people struggle with but I do not want to miss one. Just know disabilities are not identities and we are more than that. Mental illnesses aren’t identities either.

Please spread awareness of disability pride month. Make sure everyone in your life and in general know their worth. Don't discriminate someone on how they look and incapability.

You are valid.

Love always,

Zayniator

P.S thinking about my Moebius friends and can't wait for the next time I can hug them all.

One of my favorite pictures from the last Moebius Conference

What is Moebius Syndrome? Click here to learn more!

What is Pierre Robin Sequence? Click here to learn more!

What is Duane's Syndrome? Click here to learn more!

I Can Do Hard Things

Hey lovelies,

It has been a minute since I blogged. I have thought about what I would say but also, I learned as I have had this blog for years, that I write better when I am inspired. I am proud of myself though because I am starting to journal again. A couple years ago, I was in a dark place and challenged myself to write everyday, even when I had two sentences. It still counted!

Writing is one of my favorite things to do.

Anyways, major announcement: I am going to major in psychology!

As I sat down and really thought about this, multimedia journalism was my net I fell into. It just seemed... convenient for me. I loved writing, so bam that seemed perfect! I was ready for it..... or so I thought I was. Whenever I would say I am going to major in multimedia, it felt like a path that I was iffy about. I love writing but do I want to do that for a living? I love writing because I can write what I want to and don't have guidelines of what I have to write about. Of course, I am still writing for the O'Colly because I love the atmosphere and we can volunteer for stories and basically have our own free ground of ideas.

With a little push, I decided that I am changing my major. When I officially decided that I am majoring in psychology, it was a indescribable feeling. I felt like I changed my whole future and am going on the right path in life. I remember calling my best friend Haley because I knew she'd get what I felt. We both agreed that it felt like we found the golden way God set out for us to do. I am excited, nervous, and ready to do this.

I can do hard things.

I finished reading Untamed by Glennon Doyle and it felt like warm coffee to the soul. I couldn't read it all in one sitting though because I had to close it and take in the words I just read. It really got to my feelings and opened my brain even more. I loved it. I really suggest it! By the way, it is a memoir if you were wondering.

In the book, Doyle constantly mentions how you should listen to what your body tells you and that you can do hard things. Suffering is a part of life and makes you a stronger person after.

I remember learning how to play piano, I sat and dwell on the fact I will never be good at playing it. But I still suffered through the doubts and the relief I got and felt whenever I would play something right or get to play a song with my piano teacher afterwards, it was the reason I never gave up on those piano keys.

I can do hard things.

I am retaking a math course in the fall and I am determined to pass it this time. I know I am going to end up crying and questioning "why do I need to know the number of tickets sold at an imaginary event?" to myself then feel the need to give up...... but I won't.

I made it through my piano doubts. I can make it through math. I have made it through a lot of things... I can't let myself trip up on the small things.

I find myself feeling helpless in this world a lot with everything that goes on. I feel small but I actually know that even the small things can lead to a bigger impact. I will continue trying my best to help the best I can and however I can. I am one person but I know I can help the world and people. I am majoring in psychology because I love the human mind and behavior. I want to help people.

This is a mess of a blog post but I hope you all enjoyed it and take at least one thing with you when you click off of here.

Thank you for reading as always,

Zayniator
Currently listening to: Turning Out by AJR

This is my Animal Crossing character look at her records!