Complicated Minds

Hello my lovely readers, thank you for always reading my blogs even when they're short. It means a lot.

There's many things I don't understand; including math. But today I'm going to focus on one subject I don't get: people.

I took psychology this past school year and it was a very interesting class. It even made me think of taking classes of psychology in college. Our brains are interesting and complicated in an astonishing way.

I just need answers to some things people do and say.

When I started this blog, one of my favorite poets actually read my blog and replied to an email of mine saying that if I be true to myself and to you guys, it'll impact lives and honestly that is a big part of this blog of mine.

There is always one person who cares more than the other it seems like in any relationship (friends, family, significant others) to me. If one person starts pushing the other away, you can't think that the other won't be affected.

But sometimes it turns out better than it was. Not always though.

If you have negative people in your life, it'll feel better once you get the weight of your shoulders. Don't settle down on something that can be so much brighter.

This is something I've learned early: people come and go. I remember in middle school, one of my friends at the time suddenly eliminated our friendship and forgot about my existence it seemed like. I cried hard at this and since then, I cherish the people in my life very much.

Plus, it turned out better in the long run.

Please know that you matter and are cared for.

I guess my question for this blog is: will I ever understand people even a little?

Love always,

Zayne

Catching Up To Do

Hello my lovely reader, I hope your day is going well. I am on the verge of excitement for the Fourth of July with all the fireworks and such.

This summer involved me going with my dad to California once again. It was amazing seeing all our good friends and made more good memories. Also, Madonna Inn is so amazing with its pink decorations and it even has a waterfall!

I love traveling and I'll never forget this trip.

So I feel the need of making a point in this post so we all as humans aren't perfect but we strive to succeed in this world. With all our good traits we also have our bad traits.

What is some of your ways to break bad habits?

I love you all.

Love always,

Zayniator.

Famous Last Words

Hello my sunshines,


  I hope you week has been good. It seems like just yesterday was my last blog update; I guess you can say nothing has changed really.


  But I feel like I need to stress on something.


Recently, I have read Looking For Alaska by John Green. If you have not read this book, I suggest you should but have some tissues.... as always. I will not spoil the book for you but I feel like we all often forget that nothing is permanent.


A saying I hate is "there is always tomorrow!" when really, we have no clue if there will be a tomorrow. I always worry about when I see someone, it will be the last time I do. I know that is probably depressing to some point but that is just how my mind works.


So I have a request for you.


Life is too short to hold grudges and ignorance. If you are in a disagreement with someone special, please at least talk it through.


If you look at each last conversation you have had with a loved one or someone special, would you like that to be your last words spoken?


I will always regret not going to see my nanaw in her casket when I could have. I wish I could see her one more time and ask her for her wisdom of things.


Call your loved ones and friends to share some appreciation with.


To fit in the theme of this blog, I have found last words that I find amazing. These were the famous last words of Ethel Barrymore, who was an actress back in the 1950s, "Is everybody happy? I want everybody to be happy. I know I'm happy."


Make today count.


Love always,


Zayniator

P.S this picture was from last year! Next blog update I will be off for summer break. :)

Little Sunshine In My Pocket

Hello my fellow stardusts,

This week has been stressful for me; school is getting closer to ending which means tests to study for. I had one of my moments of dark thoughts on Sunday but when Monday came, a pleasant surprise happened to me.

It melted my heart reading a card I got from my third and fourth grade teachers. If either of you are reading this, thank you so much.

As I type this in my English class, sitting next to an awesome cool person in the whole world with the name Haley (you are welcome for not erasing that), my shoes are soaked from the rain outside. I can't help but wonder if today will be imprinted in my mind forever or it'll fade into all the other days I don't remember having.
                                     


Make today count. I hope your week has been going good and only gets better.

I've been thinking of doing a series of blogs that'll relate to one another. It means a lot when I get acknowledged for how hard I do work on my blog.

Let us continue to venture off into the world.

Xoxo,


Zayniator

Ps. Kaylee is more awesome and cool than Haley! 

(Feel honored.)

Time Goes On

After a month without updating this blog, it is time for your local teenage girl who thinks a lot to come back for some more blogging.

The other day, I was looking through my diary that I've had since first grade. Now trust me when I say a lot of things can happen within a month or even a year. Here I am now fixing to finish my sophomore year of high school.

Yesterday during history, I thought of the beginning of the year feelings I had. Those feelings weren't so positive and flash forward to now there's a difference.

I felt as if I was gone for a day or even a week no one would notice. To bring back something I wrote in 2015: "I have learned that there is a rainbow around the corner. Every storm runs out of rain. "

As time went on this year, my feelings have changed for the positive. If you think you're going to be stuck in the downhill spiral forever, you're wrong.

It will get better; I promise.

Also it makes me feel unexplainable when someone tells me that reading my blog has helped them. I mean.. that's crazy. I appreciate all the kind words and all the support this gets. You'll never know how much I love helping people.

Back when I posted my first blog post, I emailed a link of it to one of my favorite bloggers and poet Ashley Dun. I didn't think I'd get a response back but miracously she replied and told me that with my honesty, it'll touch lives and will help people.

(Ashley Dun's blog: ashleydun.com )

I'm seeing it happen and just.. it's an unexplainable feeling.

Again, thank you.


Love always,

Zayniator

Be back next Thursday. 💖

Purpose + Dear You {Who Is Lost}

This week has been a week where I've questioned myself a lot lately about certain things. Plus a rain storm was in my mind one night and left me drowning in my thoughts. It's hard sometimes when you try to find things to raise your mood but ultimately, you just had to let the rain stop.

I remember when I was around fourteen and that seemed like a hard year for me. The storms were coming to me like I lived in Seattle, Washington or some place where it'd always rain.

I opened up to my dad one day about all the issues I had with myself because I just lost it that day. I even made him cry with things I said.

One question I remember asking him and I still question this: What's my purpose? My dad just simply said to be a teenager, which didn't satisfy me at all.

I've said this before but one of my favorite bands in the world is Twenty One Pilots. The lead singer named Tyler Joseph gave this advice about purpose that I haven't forgotten and probably won't forget: the beginning of purpose is finding something only you understand.

From this, Tyler created a song called "Kitchen Sink" where a kitchen sink to you isn't a kitchen sink to him. Something powerful happened at a kitchen sink that only he knows. That's his purpose.

I find my purpose in giving my feelings in this blog in hopes of gaining something back or even helping one person. I still struggle and deal with these negative emotions daily but I know there will be a sunny day.


Everyone has a purpose in this world.

Don't just sit back and decide that your worth isn't enough for this world because it is.

Find your purpose and remember the feeling of satisfaction from it.

You're powerful.

You're you.

Love always, Zayne.

Dear you who is feeling lost in this world, 

I know this feeling all too well. Life is a maze and sometimes you get into that corner of the maze where its too much to choose and to deal with the twist and turns of life. It's a wonder what you can do to see the peak of day, a better time. 

You'll find your path. 

Love always, 

Zayniator. 

Feelings

"All we do is think about the feelings we hide." -Halsey.

I have a theory about myself.

It's story time.

There's this friend I have that honestly knows me too well. One time they just knew something was wrong and I was stubborn to say how I felt or what was wrong.

Actually, this was more than once but anyways, they got frustrated and told me how they'll never judge me and asked why it was so hard for me to tell them how I felt.

I still remember to this day what I said because I love my metaphor I used and it's still true.

I have walls around myself and it takes time for me to let down those walls for someone; there's always a chance they'll make me regret it.

It is hard for me to tell someone how I feel.

Writing is a solution to this for me. Words have their way with me while sometimes I have a way with words.

The point of this is: Don't hold everything inside until you explode. This is a continuous struggle but I'm getting better.

This has been ramblings with Zayne.