Hello lovelies,
This blog, I feel like typing like how I do in my notes app. If you ever find my phone and go to my notes app, it is FULL of poetry I have typed at late night hours or at random times. So please enjoy the following and imagine you are watching slam poetry... this is to that effect.
I cried last week.
I hear every once in a while and observe that it is so true that people just share the good parts of their lives and you would not know they are crying at night thinking about dark thoughts. The next day they post about having a blast doing something.. you wouldn't second guess that they are actually happy.
I hate that. I wish that it was normalized to put out you are struggling with things and that you know that talking about problems is OKAY because everyone has problems big or small. You aren't alone in your problems.
One reason I blog to make sure people know they are not alone. Maybe it is medicine for me to share my thoughts and feelings.
I cried last week.
College has bright times but oh my gosh, I am stressing and frustrated and overthinking. I want to succeed. What if I fail college? What if I drop out and become a failure in life? When I broke my foot, I literally threw my crutches on the floor crying about how suddenly this will be the reason I will fail college. I don't want to be a failure. I don't want to disappoint everyone.
I hold high standards to myself.
I cried last week.
It has came back to my brain after a long time of not thinking about it, it came back to my head: what if I scare people away with how I look? What if I talk weird and they think that is like not for them? What if I am too weird to be someone's friend? College is hard and I am an antisocial person with high anxiety.
I hate this.
I cried last week.
It was fall break so I went to see my mom. There is something about the love of a mom because when I hurt my foot, all I wanted was my mom right next to me to hold my hand to tell me everything will be okay. Motherly love is something special that I wish everyone could have in their lives.
I arrived to see my mom and we were alone in her car in the driveway and.. I just broke down crying out of all the overwhelming feelings that I have been hiding. It felt like a relief talking to her all about my problems I have been having and it just felt so much better having her to hug me after I cried.
I love my mom.
I am okay for now.
I keep telling myself that life is hard and that is okay. I can make it through. I am blessed with good people in my life. I have a support system. I have music. I have God to pray to and talk to.
This is me breaking barriers and being honest with you online because I want to break the stereotype of only posting about happy times and good times because life is not perfect at all. I know I am not alone. As I go to post this, I am nervous. Is this too sad? I am okay.
I am being honest.
I am not alone.
I will be okay.
I'm scared of the future but I will be okay.
Love Always,
Zayniator
Song that I am listening to: Soon You'll Get Better by Taylor Swift
Monday, October 28, 2019
Thursday, October 10, 2019
Music: My Life Saver
Hey lovelies,
A few weeks ago, I thought about sharing my literacy narrative I typed for my composition class and I got a great grade for it and felt so accomplished because my professor even liked it! So I thought: why not share it?
Please enjoy my essay about how music has affected my life:
Have you ever heard music that made chills travel up your spine? Have you sat in complete darkness with nothing on but music that spoke to your heart and made you feel like everything was going to be okay? I can’t remember a time when music has not affected me this way.
This is the many times music has saved my life.
I remember being a little girl and the problem of looking different from everyone else and the struggle of anxiety talking to people made me want to stay quiet for the rest of my life; let my brain keep all my thoughts inside like a prison. The one solution that I could turn to for everything was my little stereo that sat in the corner of my hot pink and lime green bedroom.
Young Disney Channel days Selena Gomez, Hannah Montana, and Demi Lovato CDs were spread out around the stereo and inside would hold a disc to another world to escape. The songs would be my voice to share all my feelings even if they were one percent relevant to my childhood life. I didn’t want to leave the bubble the music held for me but I had to.
I still lock myself up in a room when I need to just zone out and let the music take over my brain and it is an escape.
That is only one example of music saving me.
The real life realm that took place every week in first grade was dance class. The days when my dance instructor sat all of my dance class against the wall and played music for everyone to freestyle groove to were my favorite days because I could let out all my feelings the music gave me when they put it on.
I took dance for seven years.
The first school dance I had was in sixth grade. Being an 12 year old with the love of music and dancing was a combination of something very entertaining to watch. My mother dropped me at the dance, all nervous of me not having fun and told me to call her if I needed her to come pick me up sooner than it would end. I walked into my school cafeteria in a black tutu dress with a pink ribbon around my waist and my hair curled to find my best friend, Kaylee, who was never a dancer and avoided being center of attention. We got a cup of grapes and sat down at a lunch table to enjoy the music being played by the DJ with no worries of dancing.
We sat and watched until the DJ announced there was a dance off happening. I turned to my best friend in her sky blue dress with an excited smile on my face, “I am going to dance!” And I was off onto the small area in the middle of the cafeteria, surrounded by all my classmates. It seemed like something out of a movie with how they started cheering my name and I was holding my leg up, dancing around, twirling, all of the dance moves you could do without doing the splits and touch the nasty white floor.
The results of this really spontaneous dancing was winning the dance off. I got frosted cookies and my mom’s face when I walked out screaming about this was priceless. She was so nervous for me but to see me afterwards made her feel better.
Dancing brought me out of my shell.
Dancing to music is another way music has saved my life.
During my teen years, I went to see my Nanaw (great grandma) every so often because my dad lived with her. The house held the warm aura of family and welcomeness with the hint of old fashion wallpapers and furniture. In front of the house, there was a huge window that overlooked pastures of hills and in that family room was a piano.
Every time I went to see her, I would always pretend that I knew what I was doing with the out of tune keys on that old piano with my hands. My nanaw would tell me it sounded great when in reality, it sounded like a song you would turn off immediately.
The infatuation of learning how to play was engraved into my wishlist when I would listen to my grandmom play. When I went to visit, I always looked forward to any opportunity to hear he play music. Once, in her home, she had a room full of instruments hung on the wall from banjos to guitars to even a xylophone. She had me sit with her at her black shiny grand piano so she could give me a piano performance.
I watched as she tilted her glasses downward and shook her hands to prepare herself. I must admit: this was building my anticipation to watch. When she opened her piano book, the notes were foreign language and difficult to read but when her hands touched the keys, her hands were fluent in the language of the music and spoke so naturally. She played so peacefully that I accidentally dozed off for a second before coming back into reality when she stopped playing.
Pianos are magical and one of the most heavenly instruments to have ever existed.
I got my first keyboard when I turned 15 and took piano lessons throughout high school. I still remember my first piano lesson. My piano teacher held her lessons in her living room at her grand piano. It reminded me of my Nanaw’s which made me more happy to play on it.
This is my keyboard
Every piano lesson I would have, I had a special guest in the audience of that small living room surrounded by parakeets chirping happily and cats. There was a special cat that did not like to be touched or messed with but for some reason, she liked me. Sometimes, when I would play the keys, she would jump onto the top of the piano and just watch as my teacher showed me new songs and keys and listen to me play. That was one reason learning piano was worth it.
Playing piano is not an easy task but being able to know the keys and notes and songs made up all the hard work that came with it.
My favorite thing to do with being able to play piano is when someone’s birthday comes up, I try to serenade them with “Happy Birthday” because I love birthdays and showing off piano skills. Most importantly, being able to play piano has helped me take my mind off of nervousness, anxiety, and a distraction from the world.
Knowing how to play an instrument can really make you feel special with the control of the sounds from the instrument are from your own ability. You did that. The music made from every instrument is something to hold close to your heart.
Especially at concerts.
My first concert was when I was eight years old. The seats were on the highest level you could be on and the lucky performer that I saw was Taylor Swift with her guitar and curly hair and country music. That concert was the start of my discovery that being at places like that was like being in my room except with thousands of people listening to that music, too.
One of my most memorable concert that I have ever been to was the band Twenty One Pilots. I saw them this past June and it was the best night of my life. Their music and lyrics touch my heart in a way that no other band or singer ever has. Going to that concert was like going to therapy in the best way possible. I was not alone in my thoughts. I was not alone.
At the end of the concert, the band, which is just two guys, went up to the end of the stage and took a bow. The words that Tyler Joseph, the lead singer, said will be forever written into my brain.
“We are Twenty One Pilots and so are you.”
That statement to me meant that their music and concert was something that the fanbase created and that we are all one.
I really love concerts for this reason: they are like a celebration of music and being able to escape from reality.
Music is the superhero in my life I don’t think I can ever live without. Being able to sing, dance, play, listen, and celebrate the songs that help me in my life have tremendous results. I am so glad I learned that turning to music helps me go through life. I have music to hold onto until the very end.
A few weeks ago, I thought about sharing my literacy narrative I typed for my composition class and I got a great grade for it and felt so accomplished because my professor even liked it! So I thought: why not share it?
Please enjoy my essay about how music has affected my life:
Have you ever heard music that made chills travel up your spine? Have you sat in complete darkness with nothing on but music that spoke to your heart and made you feel like everything was going to be okay? I can’t remember a time when music has not affected me this way.
This is the many times music has saved my life.
I remember being a little girl and the problem of looking different from everyone else and the struggle of anxiety talking to people made me want to stay quiet for the rest of my life; let my brain keep all my thoughts inside like a prison. The one solution that I could turn to for everything was my little stereo that sat in the corner of my hot pink and lime green bedroom.
Young Disney Channel days Selena Gomez, Hannah Montana, and Demi Lovato CDs were spread out around the stereo and inside would hold a disc to another world to escape. The songs would be my voice to share all my feelings even if they were one percent relevant to my childhood life. I didn’t want to leave the bubble the music held for me but I had to.
I still lock myself up in a room when I need to just zone out and let the music take over my brain and it is an escape.
That is only one example of music saving me.
The real life realm that took place every week in first grade was dance class. The days when my dance instructor sat all of my dance class against the wall and played music for everyone to freestyle groove to were my favorite days because I could let out all my feelings the music gave me when they put it on.
I took dance for seven years.
The first school dance I had was in sixth grade. Being an 12 year old with the love of music and dancing was a combination of something very entertaining to watch. My mother dropped me at the dance, all nervous of me not having fun and told me to call her if I needed her to come pick me up sooner than it would end. I walked into my school cafeteria in a black tutu dress with a pink ribbon around my waist and my hair curled to find my best friend, Kaylee, who was never a dancer and avoided being center of attention. We got a cup of grapes and sat down at a lunch table to enjoy the music being played by the DJ with no worries of dancing.
We sat and watched until the DJ announced there was a dance off happening. I turned to my best friend in her sky blue dress with an excited smile on my face, “I am going to dance!” And I was off onto the small area in the middle of the cafeteria, surrounded by all my classmates. It seemed like something out of a movie with how they started cheering my name and I was holding my leg up, dancing around, twirling, all of the dance moves you could do without doing the splits and touch the nasty white floor.
The results of this really spontaneous dancing was winning the dance off. I got frosted cookies and my mom’s face when I walked out screaming about this was priceless. She was so nervous for me but to see me afterwards made her feel better.
Dancing brought me out of my shell.
Dancing to music is another way music has saved my life.
During my teen years, I went to see my Nanaw (great grandma) every so often because my dad lived with her. The house held the warm aura of family and welcomeness with the hint of old fashion wallpapers and furniture. In front of the house, there was a huge window that overlooked pastures of hills and in that family room was a piano.
Every time I went to see her, I would always pretend that I knew what I was doing with the out of tune keys on that old piano with my hands. My nanaw would tell me it sounded great when in reality, it sounded like a song you would turn off immediately.
The infatuation of learning how to play was engraved into my wishlist when I would listen to my grandmom play. When I went to visit, I always looked forward to any opportunity to hear he play music. Once, in her home, she had a room full of instruments hung on the wall from banjos to guitars to even a xylophone. She had me sit with her at her black shiny grand piano so she could give me a piano performance.
I watched as she tilted her glasses downward and shook her hands to prepare herself. I must admit: this was building my anticipation to watch. When she opened her piano book, the notes were foreign language and difficult to read but when her hands touched the keys, her hands were fluent in the language of the music and spoke so naturally. She played so peacefully that I accidentally dozed off for a second before coming back into reality when she stopped playing.
Pianos are magical and one of the most heavenly instruments to have ever existed.
I got my first keyboard when I turned 15 and took piano lessons throughout high school. I still remember my first piano lesson. My piano teacher held her lessons in her living room at her grand piano. It reminded me of my Nanaw’s which made me more happy to play on it.
This is my keyboard
Every piano lesson I would have, I had a special guest in the audience of that small living room surrounded by parakeets chirping happily and cats. There was a special cat that did not like to be touched or messed with but for some reason, she liked me. Sometimes, when I would play the keys, she would jump onto the top of the piano and just watch as my teacher showed me new songs and keys and listen to me play. That was one reason learning piano was worth it.
Playing piano is not an easy task but being able to know the keys and notes and songs made up all the hard work that came with it.
My favorite thing to do with being able to play piano is when someone’s birthday comes up, I try to serenade them with “Happy Birthday” because I love birthdays and showing off piano skills. Most importantly, being able to play piano has helped me take my mind off of nervousness, anxiety, and a distraction from the world.
Knowing how to play an instrument can really make you feel special with the control of the sounds from the instrument are from your own ability. You did that. The music made from every instrument is something to hold close to your heart.
Especially at concerts.
My first concert was when I was eight years old. The seats were on the highest level you could be on and the lucky performer that I saw was Taylor Swift with her guitar and curly hair and country music. That concert was the start of my discovery that being at places like that was like being in my room except with thousands of people listening to that music, too.
One of my most memorable concert that I have ever been to was the band Twenty One Pilots. I saw them this past June and it was the best night of my life. Their music and lyrics touch my heart in a way that no other band or singer ever has. Going to that concert was like going to therapy in the best way possible. I was not alone in my thoughts. I was not alone.
At the end of the concert, the band, which is just two guys, went up to the end of the stage and took a bow. The words that Tyler Joseph, the lead singer, said will be forever written into my brain.
“We are Twenty One Pilots and so are you.”
That statement to me meant that their music and concert was something that the fanbase created and that we are all one.
I really love concerts for this reason: they are like a celebration of music and being able to escape from reality.
Music is the superhero in my life I don’t think I can ever live without. Being able to sing, dance, play, listen, and celebrate the songs that help me in my life have tremendous results. I am so glad I learned that turning to music helps me go through life. I have music to hold onto until the very end.
Love always,
Zayniator
Song that I am currently listening to: I Am The D.J by Neon Trees
Sunday, September 8, 2019
Curb Check Your Ankles, Kids
The blog post you have been awaiting for has arrived.
Hey lovelies,
It is currently Sunday as I am typing this and tomorrow will be the start of my fourth week of college.. CLAPS HANDS TOGETHER.
BOY, DO I HAVE SOME STORIES TO TELL YOU!
If you aren't following me on any social media, here is the top headlining news: I broke my ankle. How? Well, I simply stepped off a curb and my ankle went like the Titanic with an invisible ice berg. I sat on my road holding my ankle trying not to cry and these two guys came to my rescue to sit me down on the concrete.
I got asked if I needed an ambulance and I jumped to: NO. I will be fine. I can walk! I got to my feet and took one step and it hurt like heck and I fell back on the ground. At this point, the younger guy my age went to grab a police officer from the building we were by and this guy named Jerry stayed with me.
Thankfully, a police officer was riding around on a Segway and Jerry called for his attention and so now I was occupied by Jerry and this other officer who asked the same question: Do I need an ambulance?
I finally said yes and the officer made the call that he needs an ambulance to come get me. In this time I also texted my dad telling him about this.
The ambulance took a bit, and I forgot what was said in that time that passed but I laughed so much. I don't remember if it was because something funny happened or it was because it is trained in my brain to start laughing when I am in pain (thanks dad) but it was nice to be laughing at a time like this.
When the ambulance arrived, they looked at my ankle and decided that I needed to be taken to the hospital. THE HOSPITAL?!?!?! I was slowly regretting ever leaving my college seminar class.
Jerry with no last name known to me, if you miraculously see this, you are the real MVP.
They placed me on a stretcher and put me into the ambulance and we were off.
I was still in shock and I cried finally out of embarrassment and there was very nice medical people I forgot their names- you'd think I'd know this with my love of Grey's Anatomy- but they distracted me by asking me all the important questions and reassured me that it is okay that I stepped off a curb and hurt my ankle.
When we arrived and got settled, my dad was there thank goodness. In summary of this part: I found out I fractured my ankle and needed to wear a splint until Tuesday to see an orthopedic.
That splint was an experience but honestly, this event as a whole is an experience. Second week of college and this happened! My overthinking was already kicking in telling me this would be the reason I fail college and everything will be ruined- I am okay now.
Anyways, Tuesday came and I get to wear a boot for five weeks!
In the mean time, I have a knee scooter and a electric scooter chair my dad rented out. *chef's kiss*
I feel like I need to make two separate blog posts for the rest of this.
I like to believe everything happens for a reason and this is only making me stronger and giving me more stories to tell.
Catch me skkrt skkrting around campus!
Thank you for your prayers and support.
Love always,
Zayniator
Song That I Am Listening To: Addict With A Pen by twenty one pilots I cry to this song every time I hear it but it is a favorite of mine.
Hey lovelies,
It is currently Sunday as I am typing this and tomorrow will be the start of my fourth week of college.. CLAPS HANDS TOGETHER.
BOY, DO I HAVE SOME STORIES TO TELL YOU!
If you aren't following me on any social media, here is the top headlining news: I broke my ankle. How? Well, I simply stepped off a curb and my ankle went like the Titanic with an invisible ice berg. I sat on my road holding my ankle trying not to cry and these two guys came to my rescue to sit me down on the concrete.
I got asked if I needed an ambulance and I jumped to: NO. I will be fine. I can walk! I got to my feet and took one step and it hurt like heck and I fell back on the ground. At this point, the younger guy my age went to grab a police officer from the building we were by and this guy named Jerry stayed with me.
Thankfully, a police officer was riding around on a Segway and Jerry called for his attention and so now I was occupied by Jerry and this other officer who asked the same question: Do I need an ambulance?
I finally said yes and the officer made the call that he needs an ambulance to come get me. In this time I also texted my dad telling him about this.
The ambulance took a bit, and I forgot what was said in that time that passed but I laughed so much. I don't remember if it was because something funny happened or it was because it is trained in my brain to start laughing when I am in pain (thanks dad) but it was nice to be laughing at a time like this.
When the ambulance arrived, they looked at my ankle and decided that I needed to be taken to the hospital. THE HOSPITAL?!?!?! I was slowly regretting ever leaving my college seminar class.
Jerry with no last name known to me, if you miraculously see this, you are the real MVP.
They placed me on a stretcher and put me into the ambulance and we were off.
I was still in shock and I cried finally out of embarrassment and there was very nice medical people I forgot their names- you'd think I'd know this with my love of Grey's Anatomy- but they distracted me by asking me all the important questions and reassured me that it is okay that I stepped off a curb and hurt my ankle.
When we arrived and got settled, my dad was there thank goodness. In summary of this part: I found out I fractured my ankle and needed to wear a splint until Tuesday to see an orthopedic.
That splint was an experience but honestly, this event as a whole is an experience. Second week of college and this happened! My overthinking was already kicking in telling me this would be the reason I fail college and everything will be ruined- I am okay now.
Anyways, Tuesday came and I get to wear a boot for five weeks!
 |
| Shout out to Josh Dun with my shirt gotta rep Twenty one pilots everywhere I go |
In the mean time, I have a knee scooter and a electric scooter chair my dad rented out. *chef's kiss*
I feel like I need to make two separate blog posts for the rest of this.
I like to believe everything happens for a reason and this is only making me stronger and giving me more stories to tell.
Catch me skkrt skkrting around campus!
 |
| I got lazy and told my sister to push me |
 |
| My mom and I getting ready for the first home game for OSU which they won |
Love always,
Zayniator
Song That I Am Listening To: Addict With A Pen by twenty one pilots I cry to this song every time I hear it but it is a favorite of mine.
Thursday, May 16, 2019
I Was Here (I’m Graduating)
Hey lovelies,
Something important is about to happen.
I’m going to graduate.
As I’m typing this, it’s six in the morning and it’s Sunday (Happy Mother’s Day, mom.). A week until I graduate.
I’ve been going through a Beyoncé music phase and I landed upon this song called I Was Here. I couldn’t finish listening to it the first time I heard it because it hit me so hard. It describes how I feel ultimately about leaving my mark on this world. I’m leaving the town I grew up in. The people I’ve went to school with and grown with are graduating. My mom won’t be in the same house as me. I’ll miss that. I’ll miss my sister annoying me with love everyday.
I’m graduating.
It’s indescribable. When I was younger, I thought I wouldn’t get here. I thought I wouldn’t get to be this old and to say I’m graduating. I have so much in my head I want to say but I can’t put into words but I’m going to try.
There are people from my school and my life so far that have made a imprint in my mind and I doubt some of them even know. The small acts of kindness matter. You never know how much your actions can affect someone, even a stranger.
I know I made a mark in some people’s lives and I can’t wait to continue trying my best to help people. I can’t wait to struggle (what?) and live to learn because that’s life. I may get annoyed and frustrated with life like I have already at some points but it’ll be worth it in the long run.
I’m not going to sit by and watch my life pass before my eyes. It’s been a journey of a life and I know I’m only 19. I have so so much more in my life to experience but I have learned. I’m still trying to understand who I am as a person but I know my goals for myself in life. I pressure myself to perfect things and down myself on not being able to do some things but at least I don’t want to fail.
Life is hard but I will make the best of it.
I’m so grateful for all the memories I’ve made in school and the friends I’ve had and the teachers that will always have a place in my heart. I’m graduating.
I hope when I leave, people still wear purple for Moebius Awareness Day not just for me but everyone in the Moebius community. I hope in the future when I look back on this, I’m proud of myself. I hope I make my family even more proud of me. I hope my sister succeeds with whatever she plans on doing. I hope I remember to surround myself with people who make me feel good.
I heard from a lot from teachers that writing down things help you remember more. Does typing count?
I will make a difference.
I’m going to make an impact.
I love my family and my friends. I want to thank the people who believe in me and see my potential even when I don’t. I thank God for giving me this life and I don’t take it for granted.
As always, thank you for reading my blog.
Love always,
Zayniator
Listening to: I Was Here by Beyoncé
Please listen to it or look up the lyrics.
Something important is about to happen.
I’m going to graduate.
As I’m typing this, it’s six in the morning and it’s Sunday (Happy Mother’s Day, mom.). A week until I graduate.
I’ve been going through a Beyoncé music phase and I landed upon this song called I Was Here. I couldn’t finish listening to it the first time I heard it because it hit me so hard. It describes how I feel ultimately about leaving my mark on this world. I’m leaving the town I grew up in. The people I’ve went to school with and grown with are graduating. My mom won’t be in the same house as me. I’ll miss that. I’ll miss my sister annoying me with love everyday.
I’m graduating.
It’s indescribable. When I was younger, I thought I wouldn’t get here. I thought I wouldn’t get to be this old and to say I’m graduating. I have so much in my head I want to say but I can’t put into words but I’m going to try.
There are people from my school and my life so far that have made a imprint in my mind and I doubt some of them even know. The small acts of kindness matter. You never know how much your actions can affect someone, even a stranger.
I know I made a mark in some people’s lives and I can’t wait to continue trying my best to help people. I can’t wait to struggle (what?) and live to learn because that’s life. I may get annoyed and frustrated with life like I have already at some points but it’ll be worth it in the long run.
I’m not going to sit by and watch my life pass before my eyes. It’s been a journey of a life and I know I’m only 19. I have so so much more in my life to experience but I have learned. I’m still trying to understand who I am as a person but I know my goals for myself in life. I pressure myself to perfect things and down myself on not being able to do some things but at least I don’t want to fail.
Life is hard but I will make the best of it.
I’m so grateful for all the memories I’ve made in school and the friends I’ve had and the teachers that will always have a place in my heart. I’m graduating.
I hope when I leave, people still wear purple for Moebius Awareness Day not just for me but everyone in the Moebius community. I hope in the future when I look back on this, I’m proud of myself. I hope I make my family even more proud of me. I hope my sister succeeds with whatever she plans on doing. I hope I remember to surround myself with people who make me feel good.
I heard from a lot from teachers that writing down things help you remember more. Does typing count?
I will make a difference.
I’m going to make an impact.
I love my family and my friends. I want to thank the people who believe in me and see my potential even when I don’t. I thank God for giving me this life and I don’t take it for granted.
As always, thank you for reading my blog.
Love always,
Zayniator
Listening to: I Was Here by Beyoncé
Please listen to it or look up the lyrics.
Friday, March 29, 2019
Live Your Life
Hello my lovelies,
As I am typing this, my dog is snoring and curled up into a ball beside me with music playing and my person on the phone. It has been a moment since I have taken a breather to let you all know my thoughts and feelings (because for some reason,,, people actually love my blog?).
I saw the movie Five Feet Apart and while I was watching the movie, I got into a train of thought because my brain never shuts down just to focus on one thing. Even when I have been reading lately, it has been hard to keep on reading and not get distracted by my surroundings.
I read a book recently though that I could not put down and it felt relieving to say that and accomplishing to finish it in such a short time. If you want a book recommendation: Dry by Neal Shusterman.
Anyways, it is crazy the thought process of life. We wake up everyday and our hearts beat and we breathe to function. The process begins when you enter the crazy place named Earth and you take your first breath out of the womb and wow, you are now added to the population.
You wake up everyday from this thing called sleep and you go through the day doing what you do, never knowing if it will be your last. We have brains and feelings and struggles and just... in case you needed to hear it: you're never alone.
I hope you let your people that are special to you know how much they mean to you. It'll probably mean a lot to them to hear that and maybe it will make you feel good too. I hope so.
This blog was a mess but I hope you enjoyed it anyways. I appreciate you for reading my blog as always.
Love always,
Zayniator
What I Am Listening To: Not Warriors by Waterparks
As I am typing this, my dog is snoring and curled up into a ball beside me with music playing and my person on the phone. It has been a moment since I have taken a breather to let you all know my thoughts and feelings (because for some reason,,, people actually love my blog?).
I saw the movie Five Feet Apart and while I was watching the movie, I got into a train of thought because my brain never shuts down just to focus on one thing. Even when I have been reading lately, it has been hard to keep on reading and not get distracted by my surroundings.
I read a book recently though that I could not put down and it felt relieving to say that and accomplishing to finish it in such a short time. If you want a book recommendation: Dry by Neal Shusterman.
Anyways, it is crazy the thought process of life. We wake up everyday and our hearts beat and we breathe to function. The process begins when you enter the crazy place named Earth and you take your first breath out of the womb and wow, you are now added to the population.
You wake up everyday from this thing called sleep and you go through the day doing what you do, never knowing if it will be your last. We have brains and feelings and struggles and just... in case you needed to hear it: you're never alone.
I hope you let your people that are special to you know how much they mean to you. It'll probably mean a lot to them to hear that and maybe it will make you feel good too. I hope so.
This blog was a mess but I hope you enjoyed it anyways. I appreciate you for reading my blog as always.
Love always,
Zayniator
What I Am Listening To: Not Warriors by Waterparks
Monday, March 11, 2019
Recovery (deep thinking)
it’s weird.
you think you’re going to be have heartache forever with some things.
you can have the rush of heaviness through your chest as if it’s not leaving anytime soon, but you find fresh air at the end.
you can turn around and look at the trails without dwelling yourself over.
you think you’re going to be have heartache forever with some things.
you can have the rush of heaviness through your chest as if it’s not leaving anytime soon, but you find fresh air at the end.
you can turn around and look at the trails without dwelling yourself over.
that’s when you know you’re free.
Empathy (Poetry Corner)
Empathy is a superpower I wish I didn’t have.
My mind looks at someone’s feelings and hard times and just grabs.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a stranger or a friend, when you’re in trouble, I’m falling in your shoes to
imagine how you feel.
I wish this feeling wasn’t real.
The overwhelming desire to help cure everything that I can’t strengthens itself everyday.
How I wish for everyone’s pain to go away so we could make it another day.
But I’m no superhero and not all can be curable.

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