Empathy (Poetry Corner)

Empathy is a superpower I wish I didn’t have. 

My mind looks at someone’s feelings and hard times and just grabs. 

It doesn’t matter if you’re a stranger or a friend, when you’re in trouble, I’m falling in your shoes to 

imagine how you feel. 

I wish this feeling wasn’t real. 

The overwhelming desire to help cure everything that I can’t strengthens itself everyday. 

How I wish for everyone’s pain to go away so we could make it another day. 

But I’m no superhero and not all can be curable. 



My Birthday Luck

Hey my lovelies,

I wanted to post a blog but did not know exactly what I should post besides more of my poetry (which you can scroll to find) except I missed typing my thoughts and latest updates on my life like I am such an interesting person.

My birthday is Monday and I have had this theory of my birthday having bad luck because of having bad things happen to me. My best best friend reminded me once that there is not a certain day you have luck on but instead, look at the all the good things that have happened on that day and they're right.

But... a lot of bad things have happened on my birthday in many past years.

Last year was an exception.

Now you may be wondering: what happened on my birthday to make me feel this way?

To list off:
- I fell out of bed on my tenth birthday and cut my head open

- I forgot what birthday but my mom gave me these cleansing wipes and I wiped my face to wake up and be red like a cherry
- had a blizzard on my birthday (okay this isn't fully bad luck because I love snow but...)

On the bright side, I am blessed with my family and friends to celebrate my existence with and eat good cake with. It is the second holiday I do not feel bad when people spend money on me... all the other times, yeah, I feel bad.

I hope your next birthday, no matter how old you are, is as great as you are!

Love always,

Zayniator

Listening to: Don't Stop Me Now by Queen

Embracing Myself

Hey my lovelies, 

Yesterday was Valentine's Day aka my favorite holiday because I am weird and love all the love shown on that day. That day is not just for couples but also can be towards love of friends, family, and even yourself. 

I have a hard time embracing my unique qualities about myself because I feel like because I am like this then there isn't going to be a reason to like me. I am a shy and awkward and quiet person (unless you are my best friends or family) and I worry my looks intimidate people. 

I don't feel comfortable in my own skin but I guess that is something to work on, huh? 

I hope you all find something you love about yourself because you deserve it! 

Love always,

Zayniator 

Listening to: I'll Follow You Into The Dark by Death Cab For Cutie

Back From The Dead (Poetry Corner)

Her hands held onto the edges of wet soil that surrounded the burial of her body in the moment of disappearance.


Her skin was covered in dirt and dressed to camouflage into the mud around her.

Her throat was filled up with dirt and dry from how quiet she’s been.
But her eyes.
Her eyes held water and fire rolled into one.
She lifted herself slowly but surely off the ground to see everything around her wasn’t what she thought it was.
No dark clouds but only sunny skies with chance of rain somedays.
There weren’t monsters waiting for her but rather a garden full of fresh air for her to fall into.
She thought it was over and everything was going to be burned...


but in fact, it’s even more beautiful after the storm.

- Z.H

5 Reasons To Read A Book

Hey lovelies,

If you don't know, I love reading so much that my bookshelf has two rows of books on one shelf because I can't fit all my books I have on my shelves! It hurts my want of having a neat looking shelf to see all my books at once.

BUT WHY SHOULD YOU CARE? Because books are awesome.... that is why.

I am going to tell you five reasons you should pick up a book and change your life.

1. Reading takes you to another world

This can be literally fantasy in another world or just a different town lifestyle. It is a trip out of your house that you don't have to actually leave to go on.

2. Why not?

3. Books are in every genre just like TV shows so you can base your TV show likes onto books to find to read

4. Writing has a lot of ranges along to it and the vocabulary used differs as well.

Sometimes, I read books that have words that I never heard of and I get excited because I am weird and love learning new words.

5. BECAUSE IT IS FUN.

You may be a picky reader (get it? Like picky eater but reader... I am not funny.) and might not like the first few books you pick up BUT check out other genres too :)

Also, there are such thing as AUDIO BOOKS where you can listen to a book instead of reading the words yourself. Find your preference and read.

Love always,

Zayniator

Empathy Is A Superpower (Poetry Corner)

Empathy is a superpower I wish I didn't have.

My mind looks at someone's feelings and hard times then just grabs.

It doesn't matter if you're a stranger or a friend. When you're in trouble,

I'm falling into your shoes to imagine how you feel.

I wish this feeling wasn't real.

The overwhelming desire to help cure everything that I can't strengthen itself everyday.

How I wish for everyone's pain to go away so we could make it another day.

But I'm no superhero and not all can be curable.


- Z.H

Keep On Going.

Hey lovelies,

As I sit and type this blog, my dog is sleeping at my feet peacefully and my mind and heart is filled with many feelings. I sat down tonight to look through my baby book and read the things written about what happened in my life as a baby. I honestly blow my own mind with how many things my young tiny self went through and I am still here.

I can recall a lot of good times and bad in my life but something I never doubted was the love I have from my parents and family. Yes, I have felt alone and numb at times but I knew they care a lot for me even when I made mistakes.

I found a birthday card my mom saved for me to read when I was older and tonight was the night to read over it. To be honest, I teared up a bit. She told me many things and wished upon things for me that made me smile.

I wanted to name this blog post "Keep On Fighting" like the card mentioned to me after how much I went through at just one years old. Then I thought that sounded weird so I changed it. Crazy how next month is my birthday and that I will be 19. Time flies.

I try to not only find my own happiness but to make my family proud of me, too.

Sadly, I am the hardest on myself about everything. I don't have a very high self esteem and I have times where I don't feel like I fit in my own skin and feel insecure about how I look. I went to a wedding with my dad and the whole time I had my petticoat on because I felt insecure about my arms. People tell me that I am beautiful and I feel flattered but the voice in my mind says they are only being nice. Then again, when my family tells me I look most like my Grandmom that really makes me feel special because she is beautiful. (I still don't see it though.)

I am still grateful overall for how lucky I am and what God has blessed me with in life.

I have major anxiety at the thought of talking to people first and when I do this, my brain screams because I think that I am just being a bother and that I should just stop talking. I feel like I intimidate people with how I look and that is what keeps them from talking to me first. I know it is a stupid thought, right?

I know I am not alone with my fears and insecurities and thoughts but it is still scary to be stuck in your own head sometimes.

I am so glad after all the hard times and dark times that I have gone through, I am glad I keep fighting the down times in life to enjoy the good times at the end of the day. It still hurts that some people can't see through that and get stuck in the mind that it will never get better for them.

Please keep fighting. It is worth it. My first blog post of 2019... good? Yes? Thank you.

Don't forget that on January 24th it is Moebius Syndrome Awareness Day and that is the day to WEAR PURPLE AND MAKE SURE EVERYONE KNOWS THAT YOU ARE AWESOME FOR WEARING PURPLE.

Seriously though, this is my last school year and I want to make this year memorable just like the other ones.

Smile with your heart.

Love always,

Zayniator

Song that I am listening to: The Proof Of Your Love by for King & Country

My mom did this edit because I do not have the talent to do this.