Smiling With Our Hearts

Hello my lovelies!

Yesterday was Moebius Awareness Day 2018 and it’s always been amazing. I can’t express what I feel when I see so many people in purple.

It’s honestly indescribable.

Thank you to those who ordered a shirt which help funded my trip this summer to go to Florida to my third Moebius conference. I honestly can’t thank everyone enough that wore purple, that spread the word about this special day.

A month from now I’ll be 18 which is honestly crazy to me. I don’t like how fast time is going. Please slow it down.

This is a short blog post but just know thank you so much. Thank. You.

Love Always, 

Zayniator 

Listening to: 

Undertow by Timbaland featuring The Fray

Deep Thoughts #1 (But Are They Really?)

Hey lovelies, for the first time I don't have a title before I write which is pretty weird. But I am currently curled up in a blanket with my dog (his name is Oreo and is a miniature Schnauzer) and have my Spotify music playing through my headphones which is a pretty normal evening for me.

I just feel like typing to my blog because I promised myself that I wouldn't hold back everything and make it seem like I am absolutely perfect 110% all my time which is not the case. I don't know if I will even post this but I am typing as I go.

If someone has suggestions for overthinking then I am all ears.

School is halfway over for my Junior year and I am going to be honest..... the thought of starting my Senior year has me even more terrified. Just having to deal with that last year of high school with everyone I grew up with has me feeling some type of way even though I don't talk to half of them. They've learned my speech and supported every year (that we have known of this) Moebius Syndrome Awareness Day.

I am a very sentimental person, okay?

But at the same time, I am excited to study and experience the college life even though I am a massive introvert and being in public surrounded by people gives me major anxiety. If you haven't noticed, I have found a new big interest in learning and studying pyschology in the future.

I am just going to tell a funny story now: I used to think I wanted to be an actress back when I was like 15 and wrote in my diary all these colleges that were apparently good for having that career. It is funny to look back on that.

Also in first grade I drew myself as a horse; not even kidding.

What was I thinking? 

Writing has always felt so theraputic for me with anything I write and just typing this for you all makes me feel so much better (I feel sick currently; gross!) even though this blog was all over the place. I hope you enjoyed it anyways!

Love always,

Zayniator

I was listening to music while I typed this and decided to share some:
So Special by Muna
Streetcar by Daniel Caesar
Movin' Out (Anthony's Song) by Billy Joel

Wonder

Hello my lovelies,

Today is a special day for me as a writer. Today is officially one year of blogging for me and I honestly can’t feel so satisfied with this as I do now. I looked back at my very first blogpost on here and... I might’ve cringed a bit inside. It felt like one of those “On This Day” throwback posts you get on Facebook and you question yourself on how could you be so awkward?

But as far as I can tell, I’m still that awkward, yet dorky, writer that I am but my grammar has improved as it should. Also that my main reason for this blog besides expressing my feelings is still true: wanting to reach out and help people to make sure they’re not alone.

With this blog, I have all my thoughts and getting feedback and support for this blog has meant so much to me. I hope reading my blog posts has affected you in some way anytime in this blog’s existence.

(If you really want a challenge on seeing how much my writing has changed (and how outgoing I was in my writing (??)), there’s a old blogspot of my fourth grade self floating somewhere on the Internet. Good luck finding that.

Now I’m going onto another topic that I meant to blog about last week but I’m a mess and think this is important.

Last week I saw the movie Wonder and afterwards left me in a deep thought (as everything does) and I could relate to some parts of the movie. I used to not like how my lips were when I was little and how I talk but I got past that. I still look at myself in the mirror for long moments st a time and smile at myself just to see my crooked smile and honestly, I wouldn’t trade that.

Also, it is sad to know there are those mean people in the world who take pride by hurting others. I recall being called many things such as “stupid” and “too ugly to have friends” but I know that these aren’t true.

Especially my friends. My friends are the most supportive and amazing people that I’m so thankful to have in my life with their music tastes, how they can relate to things I say, and laugh at my stupid jokes. But they also help boost my confidence.

(My family really rocks too.)

For example, one of the most precious people I cherish I quote: “WOW YOU’RE SO ADORABLE.” Do you feel that? My self esteem has RISEN.

 I know I say this a lot but don’t judge a book by its cover.

Today is the first day of December and I have a feeling it’ll be a great month. There’s so many birthdays this month for amazing and magnetic people in my life so I’ll enjoy that along with the holidays with family.

Thank you for reading my blog for a year’s worth.

Love always,

Zayniator

Book Convention & Halloween

Hey my lovelies, it is Zayniator with a new blog post! It is now November and if you have me on social media you probably noticed that I went to a teen book convention in my own state of Oklahoma the past weekend.

I can't express how much I loved it. With how much I love writing and plan on writing my own book one day, it was great meeting and hearing what all these authors had to say about their writing experiences.

Plus, I got new books!

Also, Monday was Halloween andddddddddddddddd I was someone from the 20's with my best friend Kaylee (who is more awesome than Haley).

 Every year for Halloween, I always look back on my past costumes and reflect on them. I have to say the most scary hideous costume was the year I was a vampire with a blue wig. Somehow, I ended up on the paper for that? I don't understand?

My favorite is when I was a pink lady from Grease. I love that movie so much.

I hope you all have a great November!

Love always,

Zayniator

Maggie Stiefvater 

My best friend Kaylee and I

This is me trying to seem aesthetic but failing. 

The Thoughts of A Now Seven Year Old

Hello my loves, today is a very special day for my little sister, Eden, who is turning seven. To be honest, I can't believe it. It seems like yesterday when I found out that I was going to be a big sister.

I was an only child for ten years and sometimes I miss it but this is not the reason why I am typing this right now.

What I wish for my sister and upon everyone is that everyone at one point is happy with their lives. I always know that there will be ups and downs in life but what matters most is that we seek the positive things in the end; which there will be.

So I am going to give you a very special interview with my sister:

(Z= me E= Eden)

Z: What is your favorite song?

E: Look What You Made Do by Taylor Swift 

Z: What is your dream birthday party?

E: at a haunted house (??)

Z: What is your favorite thing about your birthday? 

E: presents 

Z: What is the earliest thing you can remember?

E: when I was a baby. 

Z: How do you describe yourself and how do you describe me?

E: I'm nice and love people and you (Zayne aka me) listen to lots of music. 

Z: What could you say to help people? 

E: Can I help you? 

And finally....

Z: Tell me a joke

E: knock knock 
Z: who's there?
E: Dishes 
Z: Dishes who? 
E: gotta wash the dishes. 

            That is all folks. 


Thank you for always reading and keeping up with my blogs. ❤️

Love always,

Zayniator 

In Case You Need A Laugh (Or a Smile)

Hello my lovelies, it is great to see you all back again and ready to read my posts. It forever means a lot. Also, you may not notice but I changed some of my display on my blog so I hope it looks pretty to you as it does to me.

This week's blog post I thought over and decided that I am going to share with you five stories that are completely embarrassing but funny to look back on. I hope at least one of these makes you laugh or smile.

1. 911, Sorry. 

Does anyone remember when blackberry phones were popular and it had this one game where you could hit the blocks with the balls and the paddle? No idea what I am talking about? Well oops.

Anyways, I always got my mom's phone to play this game and on Blackberries they lock too just like iPhones. 

We were in a doctor's office and my mom was back inside while I was sitting with my Nana. My mom left her purse with us and I got my mom's phone out to play that game. I thought I knew how to unlock the phone but I totally didn't. 

The phone started dialing and the person on the phone said hello then I took the phone in my hands and mentally started freaking out. I kept pressing the end button but it wouldn't hang up. Finally, I looked to my nana and gave her the phone because I had no idea what to do then. 

So that was the time I accidentally called 911. 

 2.  What Happens When You Watch Too Much Spongebob

Every child that has ever watched Spongebob has to remember the theme song with the pirate. That is like over half the reasoning to watch that show in the first place. 

One day, my teacher in first grade was saying for me to do something and normally, a child would say okay then just leave it at that. 

Not this girl.

I saluted to my teacher and said "Aye eye captain!" just like the pirate in Spongebob. Imagine this little girl in first grade saluting and saying that with the biggest grin and black glasses. 

This is just a throwback picture from first grade to help your imagery.

Needless to say, I got sent to my mom's classroom. 

End of Story Time. 

I hope you smiled or even laughed at these two stories. As I type these, I wish my mood would lighten up. 

How do you make yourself feel happy? 

Love always,

Zayniator

Capable Of Anything

   "Anyone from anywhere can do anything."- Tyler Joseph. 

Hello my lovelies, I hope you all are doing well.

As I type this, my heart is so happy for Darci Lynne for winning America's Got Talent. She's so talented and deserved it so much. I think this shows that anything can happen if you work hard enough and wish with all your heart on it.

I feel like I say this a lot but life can be so hard sometimes. It's full of ups and downs, challenges and hard times but there is always hope if you can find it. There is no doubt in my mind that every one of us has felt hopeless and powerless because honestly, who hasn't?

I have a huge dream and goal in life to become a writer and publish my own books, wether it's a book of poetry or a fictional story. But again, I know you can't just wish upon a star and make it happen. You got to put work into it.

I practice my writing everyday.

I have 124 notes in my phone and over half is poetry while I even write some in books.

I just wish upon you that everything in your desires comes to you and life gets better if it's not the best at the moment.

Also, I can't believe that October is around the corner. I can't wait for what the future holds.

I feel like I need a story for this blog post so are you ready?

I think it was 2012, I made a book. When I say I made a book, I mean I got a stack of papers and stapled them together and wrote the copyright icon and the year of 2012.

 I wrote the story based on these stickers I had in a coloring book that I never used. Every page of it had a sticker and I think the title of it is "The Mystery Of The Missing Birthday Cake".  Trust me when I say it's about more than a missing birthday cake. It had some soap opera material in it that makes me question myself??

But as far back as I remember, I've always loved writing.

The basic message of everything is that you're able to do anything you want to do in life.

(Except go to the moon, sadly.)

Once again, thank you everyone for reading my blog. It means so much to me.

Love always,

Zayniator

P.S have a nice throwback picture of me for Thursday.