Reflecting on 2016

Firstly, last week's post was meant to be posted on Thursday but went up on Wednesday instead because my mind thought it was Thursday. Way to go, Zayne!!

Now by the next blog post it'll be 2017!! 2016 has been a wave of ups and downs for everyone I assume. It seems like every year I say "This will be my year!" and guess what? It wasn't. 

A new year means another beginning of a year. Do you know what you can do to make it a better year? You can stop thinking about all the past and drop the negative people in your life. 

We do not need bad vibes. Good vibes only! 

If anyone sees what I did there tell me. 

This year was amazing at some points and some points were just.. eh. I'm going to talk about a few at this time: 

1. I got to meet R5 with my best friend Kaylee. That was an adventure honestly but I'll never forget it. My mom deserves an award for even getting us BACK STAGE to meet them. At first, this lady working was saying how we missed the meet and greets but we can still go to soundcheck, which we did. 

Long story short: My mom found their dad and explained how she wasn't a crazed fan and how we didn't know we were supposed to be their earlier. Their dad took us back stage and when they came out... 

I said nothing. Not. A. Word. I was in shock! I'll forever regret this part. (:

 

And that happened. 

2. I went to a Selena Gomez concert!! She was amazing! 

3. I went to California with my dad to see our friends and that was an adventure within an adventure let me tell ya. It was fun overall though! Can't wait to go back next year. 

 

Got fashionable clothes also. 

4. I went to the Moebius conference that is held every two years. This was my second time going and it was still amazeballs!! I miss my friends from the conference. They're all amazing. 

Also it shows like no matter if you can't smile or have anything physically missing from your body, you can still do amazing things. Don't judge a book by its cover. 

5. Got my dog Oreo for my birthday! He's crazy. 

I'm sure there's more to tell but there's also down moments to this year. I witnessed my first heartbreak but I got over it. I'll always remember the memories so...

Be ready for my Taylor Swift song. 

With this, I'd like to say that there will be bad times and good times in our lives. I know at some points in my life, I thought that I couldn't go on with my life. There won't be a rainbow around my corner soon. 

 Needless to say, there was. 

If you ever feel like you can't go on anymore, talk to someone. Turn to music. Don't give up please. If you feel like no one cares, I care. If you feel like it can't get worse... honey, there's starving homeless people. 

Stay alive |-/ 

Love always, 

Zayne 

Winter Wonderland

Expect to see a blog post every Thursday unless can't otherwise. (:

I had a whole different post all prepared for the past two weeks to post for you lovelies. As I sit in my room with my headphones on blast this Wednesday evening, I start thinking of how Christmas is around the corner.

To be precise, five days.

The saying of how this is the most wonderful time of year isn't hitting the nail for me. It isn't that anything happened to make me feel this way about December; my brain has brought in a blizzard with all the cold weather.

The nights are the coldest especially.

The thought about having Christmas and seeing family enlightens my heart so that is something I'm looking forward to. I also know there's people out there who don't like family gatherings so for you people: hope there's good food.

 December for me has gone by extremely slow. The past two days of school were semester tests which is always fantastic! (Note the sarcasm) I'm just extremely happy to be on Christmas break.

The past weekend I celebrated my best friend Kaylee's birthday. With this I got to experience my first Thunder game (NBA team Oklahoma has for those who don't know) which was pretty awesome I must say.

I had the end seat in the row we sat in which was by some steps. I was minding my own business when one of the workers just skipped up the stairs and sat on the steps beside me.

My mind automatically went 'why is he by me?' and I nervously kept looking ahead. The guy put his hand out for a five and a normal person would five him without thinking.

What do I do? I stared at his hand for probably thirty seconds before giving him a five. I was relieved when he skipped off to somewhere else. That little thing made me freak out slightly, is this normal?

Adventure with Zayne over.

Back to Christmas, I hope you all enjoy your Christmases and make some beautiful memories.

Also this is Thursday whenever I blog this so why not a Christmas throwback?

Xo,

Zayne

Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover

We have all done it.

Whenever we look at someone, your brain studies how the person looks. You probably think of about their hair, their clothes, taking in how they look. 

A massive pet peeve of mine is judging how someone looks before you even get to know them. 

A couple of years ago, I was riding my motor scooter around my neighborhood minding my own business when a boy rides up on his bike and says something so cruel that made me want to scream. "Hey Down syndrome!" He taunted me and I stopped my scooter in its tracks and looked at him. 

"I do not have Down syndrome, it's Moebius!" I point out even though I knew he wasn't caring whatever I had to say about the cruel introduction. 

"That must explain why you talk so weird!" He said before riding away on his bike, never to be seen again. 

To this moment I still remember how I felt when that happened.

Before you go and be rude to someone, think about how you would feel if someone said that to you. What you say or do to hurt someone can stay with them forever.

Think before you say.

Think before you act.

Think before you type really.

Also making many points in one blog post because why not?

Be thankful for what you have. You are the compass of your life. You control where your life takes you.

Remember who has been by your side and don't take them for granted.

Something I find hard to accept is I can't make everyone happy. At times I find myself holding in my breath with my thoughts and not exhaling them out. I hate having conflict with people so I find myself wanting to keep it peachy.

Advice from today's blog: 1. Don't judge a book by its cover, no matter how cheesy it sounds.
2. People can forgive but they won't forget.
3. You have to put your happiness before others at times.
4. You have a voice, USE IT.

XO,

Zayne

Entrance to Wonderland

I have rewritten this entry a million times; each time I opened with a hello to you fellow reader.

I guess that is my hello.

The thing is: I don't want to be bland. I want to show raw emotions into words.

Often, i let myself stay in a hole with my thoughts that are digging me deeper, not looking for a ladder to climb up.

i know there are resources to help me get out of this but I am most likely to shut myself in.

My brain works like you think that you have to look happy on the outside, you have to act positive around people, you have to act this way or else... they'll not like you. They'll change their opinions about you.

I think society is a reason to blame for this.

Right now a little side of my brain is going off saying that I shouldn't be writing negatively like this for others to read. They'll think I am suddenly depressing and won't bother liking me anymore.

I have my flaws; some are obvious while some I keep hidden away in hopes of others not finding them out.

caring what people think can be a good and bad thing. As for me, I overthink pretty much every aspect of my life possible.

If someone doesn't talk to me for a few days, does that mean they don't like me?

If they see my text but don't reply, does that mean I'm annoying?

If I reply too late, would that be awkward?

If I type a exclamation point, would that seem too excited and make them stop talking?

I hope you're getting my point.

"Sometimes I feel a pitch of black inside of me when around me is sunshine, I don't let the thundering clouds inside my brain show on the outside." -Zayne's Notes, November 6th 2016.

My blog is for my thoughts and my overwhelming wish to bring you something to remember, to inspire or remind you that you're not alone.

I want to help people.

I want to show people that they're not alone.

Maybe with this, my corner of the world could reach to yours.

Xo,

Zayne

"When you can't find the sunshine, be the sunshine."- unknown.